Ditty for CC the Skank

"Buongiorno! I'm hot and single and feeling terribly glam,
all my guy buddies want to nail me,
I think people love me
coz I'm so spunky and sexy,
But I have no idea
that people just think
I'm a lonely old desperate skank." (Skank, FYI, 'desperate' was the word most consistently used by various parties to describe you).

Inspired by the Skank's own words (extracted from screenshots - I couldn't make up this drivel if I tried):

Favourite Movies:
(Top of the List) When Harry Met Sally
Skank's comment: I am still not cynical enough to think I have real guy friends who are my buddies w/o agenda.

Tequila Sunrise
Comment: restaurant/ bar/ beach/ 2boys4eachGal.. my favourite things in the world

Favourite quote: "girls like me don't stay in the open market for very long"

Skank's thread in the pathetically sad lonely loser support group - My Friends Are Getting Married. I'm Just Getting Drunk: "Let's face it, all my married friends are secretly envious"

"Seriously! Getting married? been there, done it! had a fab party! no regrets! Now that the marriage thing is out of the way [divorced, and thereafter dumped], there's no more pressure!

Meanwhile I'm having a fab time as serial monogamist [neglected to mention 'and shameless family-wrecker-want-to-be', and see also above 'dumped'] - thankful that I can get intoxicated on a whim!

don't get me wrong, I applaud all my friends who make that brave decision [it's not a 'brave decision' for everyone darl. Some couples actually love each other] In fact, I will not rule out doing it again myself [whoa nelly... good luck with that] - but while I'm hot & single, I'm feeling terribly glam!

oh yeah... what am I doing back here? my best friends are having a baby.. inevitably they'll be engrossed with the new baby for a few years before they find me facinating [sic] again.. so I figured it's time to find replacement-friends! [good luck with that one too]

My favourite sms from the Skank to The Boy (Skank was spending Christmas alone in a foreign land, and knew The Boy was home with his wife for Christmas)
"Are you missing me? Just getting drunk for the season and wish you were around."

Quintessential Predatory Shanghai Skank
Amongst plenty of other antics (including harassing me), and shortly before the abovementioned "I miss you. You miss me?" sms, whining and crying at an uninterested married/unavailable man about how he won't spend time with her anymore after his wife gets back into town.

Skank, you're all class. Some kinder sorts seem to initially feel sorry for you and your pathetic machinations, before quickly concluding that you are just delusional navel lint (which, I was quick to point out, is an insult to navel lint, since navel lint do not reach out from its pathetic existence to annoy anyone within striking distance who is willing to pay it attention).

Skank, seek help. Probably should start with Alcoholics Anonymous, then Narcissists Not-So-Anonymous (this is pretty evident every time you open your trap).

(NOTE: HPD individuals are prone to alcoholism and drug addiction and are quite adept at denying the related behaviors. They seek easy escape from pain, deny negative consequences, and fail to observe or accept responsibility for the impact of their behavior on others...

... individuals with HPD may become involved in drug or alcohol abuse because the substances can free them to act out in ways that are congenial to their inclination to be stimulus-seeking. Through drugs and alcohol, these individuals are able to transform themselves; they gain feelings of well-being, bolster a flagging sense of self-worth, and perhaps even come to feel omnipotent. Drugs and alcohol can disinhibit controlled HPD impulses so that there need be no assumption of personal responsibility or guilt for behavior.")

It continues to astound me that someone like Randy Pausch is dying, and the Skank continues to suck up Earth's resources. Skank, watch this and sit down (without a bottle) to re-think your life.

Also, those images of little girls that you chose as your Facebook profile photo were remarkably paedophilic. I especially liked the pouting toddler girl with the cigarette in her mouth. Nice one. Note: The Lolita act does not work when one is 38 years old.

You might also want to quit SHOUTING IN YOUR WOULD-BE-NIFTY-IF-I-WERE-A-SEVEN-YEAR-OLD EMAILS IN ALL KINDS OF SUPER COOL FONTS, FONT SIZES, AND COLOURS!!!!!!! Freakshow.

It is also not a good idea to repeatedly shout at a person when meeting them for the first time. If you recall, "YOOOUUUUUU!!!!!!! YOU'RE THE REASON HE'S LEEEAAAAVVVVIIIIINNNGGG!!!!" intermittently shouted at me the entire evening when I met you: the accompanying finger point/wag was an especially endearing touch. You seem rather fond of this gesture: you did it again when you shrieked at the boy, "CHAT CHAT CHAT!!!! MUST MUST MUST!!!" that more recent day when you failed to notice we were both trying to ignore you. I resisted embarrassing you in front of your friend ("Hi G!"), but of course, as witnessed by many on numerous occasions and explained to me, and as clearly evident in your online rants (some of which are excerpted above), you never need any help with embarrassing yourself.

Skank, you sure make a piss poor first impression. Seems first impressions really are rarely wrong. I immediately had you pegged as an overcompensating loser - as the boy explained to you, I said I'd leave his friendship with you up to his judgment. Pity he gave you the benefit of doubt far too many times, and took a touch longer to come to his senses. Yes, he was an inordinately large horse's arse for not seeing through you but it is forgiven since, as pointed out to me, part of his naivety stemmed from what I love about him: "his loyalty, his belief in people... the way he treats women with such respect." He now has a keener sense of what kind of person is deserving of his time and respect.

The other part of his naivety stems from growing up in the lucky country, and his good fortune of having an abundance of great people of integrity and honour around him. Game-playing mind-fucking losers were the stuff of bad tv-dramas, not something he encountered on a regular basis. His guard was down (ill-advised for a life in Asia, and arguably, especially Shanghai), and he was far too trusting of you.

Having spent some time in Asia during my childhood years, and growing up in the lucky country with Asian extended family/acquiantances, my radar for game-playing mind-fuckers is far better tuned and I could smell you coming from a mile when you escalated your antics last year. Pity circumstances were such that I did not have the opportunity to confirm my suspicions about who you really were before that happened. From all the way in Melbourne, 8025 kilometers away, I chose to trust his judgment of you since, in the 11 years of our relationship, I had always liked and respected his close female friends (one of whom you became in 2007). We were both mistaken but we are both chalking this up to the vicissitudes of life. The positive in all this is that I am grateful the boy's eyes have now been opened even wider to the reality of life in Shanghai, where wolves skulk in sheep's clothing at every turn.
cheryl chong shanghai china chong poh kin